We know it’s everyone’s dream to get paid to strategize outreach for tech companies.
1) You have all the latest tech.
This one may be the most obvious, so it’s best to get it out of the way first. It’s an undeniable fact: a tech marketer probably has more gadgets than anyone else. Tech marketers need to keep up to date on the latest technology or fear getting outsmarted by their competition.
2) Your gadget can be considered another limb.
Perhaps this one goes hand in hand with the previous one, but most tech marketers are obsessed with their gadgets. It’s a fair guess that any tech marketer worth their salt is online during every one of their waking hours and probably sleeps with at least one gadget. WE’RE LOOKING AT YOU, READER.
3) You feel the need to upgrade, constantly.
Maybe you don’t need to upgrade your Apple (APPL) iPhone and Samsung (005930) Galaxy S to the latest versions, but you do so anyway. Your technology is a weapon, and it needs to be upgraded as often as military hardware. If you neglect to do this, you feel like you’re heading in a direction where you’ll be left behind by other marketers.
4) You #hashtag everything.
Even though Twitter (TWTR) introduced the pound sign as “Twitter groupings” back in 2009, it’s not until recently that everyone has overindulgently added them to pictures, posts, articles, and everything else but a tweet. As a tech marketer you’ve obviously used hashtags since before they were cool, and probably gone a step further than just hashtagging online. You probably incorporate it into your daily speech — much to the annoyance of your ever-dwindling friend circle — and even use the meta “##.”
5) You have networks bigger than even you can understand.
You cannot remember whether you connected with someone via LinkedIn (LNKD) or Ello. As your number of social networks keeps growing, you realize your brain does not follow Moore’s Law and you find yourself looking for contact-management solutions to merge your various contacts into one. Much like a road junction that’s gotten out of hand, the networks you’ve built make your brain hurt when you think about them. It’s likely they’re only understandable by the computer that beat Gary Kasparov at chess.
6) You are subscribed to every newsletter out there.
Out of sheer desperation, you have subscribed to The Skimm, Buzzfeed Daily, and even the Fetch, (though you don’t live in a major metropolis… yet) while looking for content. Your email has so many daily newsletters that you often cannot find correspondence from your clients because some subject lines just seem too relevant to your everyday work.
7) You tell your friends you can’t go out because you’re watching TV.
Not because you enjoy NBC’s Saturday Night Live or catching up on Fox’s The Mindy Project (okay, maybe you do) but because you want to have culturally relevant content for your clients. Moreover, you’re not just watching TV; you’re watching TV AND TAKING NOTES and your friends know if they disturb you they’ll face the wrath of Khaleesi’s dragons.
8) You A/B test everything.
From what milk goes best with your Cheerios to the brand of coffee you brew in the office, (say it with me) EVERYTHING MUST BE TESTED. You’re constantly looking to optimize your results and must collect data on every. single. lifestyle. choice. If you aren’t making metrics-driven choices, then it may be time to A/B test your career choice.
9) You have a love-hate relationship with MailChimp.
Sure, we admit that MailChimp (Mail…Kimp?) has made all of our lives much easier. And maybe it’s just us, but we can’t help but hestiate before sending an email. Just seeing that little monkey threaten to push the send button makes us hold our breath with fear. You know that as much as you hate using MailChimp, you simply cannot afford not to use it — it makes your life just that much easier.
10) You understand it all comes down to optimization.
As a tech marketer you try to cut down on time lost wherever possible. Whether that means using an app on your phone to not have to wait in line for food or using Amazon (AMZN) Prime to ship you markers for your office because you cannot run down to Office Depot (ODP) a couple of blocks away, you simply can’t be bothered. Your work is what’s important and you should be spending your time on that.
Now it’s your turn to tell us about your life as a tech marketer. What’s your favorite pastime? How do you manage your time? Do you feel bad for non-tech marketers? Tell us! And if you are indeed a tech marketer, sign up for Owler to keep track of your competitors’ marketing strategies. We take the noise out of the industry for you, so you can focus on what’s important to you.